Anything goes
First of all, let my apologise for not using a songtitle as the blogtitle today. Couldn't resist it, you'll find out later on..
Not as bitter today as yesterday, not bitter at all really. Spending a day in the sun can do that to you, destroys your foul mood much too fast for my liking some times. But it was a good day.
Even this evening was nice, although M got drunk enough to follow his own saying "anything goes" and drinking her goodlooking for a second night in a row, it'll be interesting to see if he shows up here later tonight looking for a bed or if he scores tonight.
Back to the bitterness, the lack of it might be due to my lack of expectations, I knew it would be nice to bbq for a bit and just chill and talk, but I strongly suspected (knew is slightly too hard a word) that as soon as A showed up M would return to the "anything goes" but I'm disappointed in him on that, yesterday I was obviously way more drunk than today, as today I wouldn't have touched her with a pair of pliers..
The other A was nice tonight though, talked for a little while and P might have struck gold with that one, it was probably for the best that it was he who picked her up and not me that saturday, he deserves her and I don't think that I would have appreciated her half as much.
All for me, slowly sobering up / Monkey Boy
Added in an edit:
Had some strange dreams tonight, dreamt about S, but it wasn't sexdreams as one would expect when it comes to dreams about a girl, I dreamt about our way too complex relationship with all the confused shit that it contains. I dreamt about us talking about it but not even in my dreams did I get a straight answer or a solution to the strange dance of our love-hate friendship. Or is it even friendship? Or is it more? I suppose that is the exact question, what is going on, yes, I've already heard the "not interested" but I still get encouraged every time we party together. And even though I've told myself to let it all go I can't seem to get myself to do it, not with this girl, I've seen too much of her and shown too much of myself to her, I don't know where this will all end, but I doubt that it'll be a happy ending, it seldom seems to be when I'm involved..
Not as bitter today as yesterday, not bitter at all really. Spending a day in the sun can do that to you, destroys your foul mood much too fast for my liking some times. But it was a good day.
Even this evening was nice, although M got drunk enough to follow his own saying "anything goes" and drinking her goodlooking for a second night in a row, it'll be interesting to see if he shows up here later tonight looking for a bed or if he scores tonight.
Back to the bitterness, the lack of it might be due to my lack of expectations, I knew it would be nice to bbq for a bit and just chill and talk, but I strongly suspected (knew is slightly too hard a word) that as soon as A showed up M would return to the "anything goes" but I'm disappointed in him on that, yesterday I was obviously way more drunk than today, as today I wouldn't have touched her with a pair of pliers..
The other A was nice tonight though, talked for a little while and P might have struck gold with that one, it was probably for the best that it was he who picked her up and not me that saturday, he deserves her and I don't think that I would have appreciated her half as much.
All for me, slowly sobering up / Monkey Boy
Added in an edit:
Had some strange dreams tonight, dreamt about S, but it wasn't sexdreams as one would expect when it comes to dreams about a girl, I dreamt about our way too complex relationship with all the confused shit that it contains. I dreamt about us talking about it but not even in my dreams did I get a straight answer or a solution to the strange dance of our love-hate friendship. Or is it even friendship? Or is it more? I suppose that is the exact question, what is going on, yes, I've already heard the "not interested" but I still get encouraged every time we party together. And even though I've told myself to let it all go I can't seem to get myself to do it, not with this girl, I've seen too much of her and shown too much of myself to her, I don't know where this will all end, but I doubt that it'll be a happy ending, it seldom seems to be when I'm involved..
posted by Monkey boy at 12:01 AM
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